


No One Around Here (Is Good At Keeping Their Eyes Closed)

by loveyajules (hatsforhouseelves)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Could Be Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, F/M, Found Family, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Nightmares, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death, Vomiting, i guess?? i dont think its that bad, tea and cuddling makes everything better, we need more fics about team human aka barry lucretia and magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 14:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13366389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatsforhouseelves/pseuds/loveyajules
Summary: The door creaked open, and Barry turned in his seat to see Lup standing in the doorway, looking disheveled and tired and beautiful as ever. She stepped into the room quietly, grinning at him in a way that seemed to fill the room, and not for the first time, Barry was struck with the absolute weight of his love for this woman.He smiled back at her as she padded barefoot across the floor, stopping directly in front of him, reaching out her hands in invitation. “Come to bed,” she said quietly. “You’ve been working for hours.”





	No One Around Here (Is Good At Keeping Their Eyes Closed)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting fic since 2015 holy hell
> 
> Anyways!! hello there. i remember i started writing this when i was sick, and the intention was to write a fluffy, lighthearted thing where barry was sick and lup took care of him and then.... i wrote this instead.
> 
> it's kind of weird and definitely not perfect, but it's been sitting in my drafts for a while now, so i figured i may as well post it now. i may go back and add more chapters/make this a series, but who knows. for now, this is what we've got.
> 
> i hope you like it!!

Barry Bluejeans had no sooner made it into the bathroom before he was throwing up.

 

Retching and sputtering, he kneeled on the tile floor, shivering slightly in the aftershocks of getting sick. He stayed in that position for a few long moments, waiting to make sure he wouldn’t vomit again. After he felt well enough to stand, he shakily got to his feet and flushed the toilet, walking to the sink to wash his face and hands.

He was met with his own pale reflection- tired brown eyes staring blearily back from the glass, squinting at the scruffy stubble on his chin and dark undereye bags- slightly distorted due to his lack of glasses. His head pounded as he turned off the water, staring straight through his reflection without fully seeing it at all.

This was the third night in a row that he had woken from his nightmares with nausea rolling his stomach; this morning, it had been nearly empty before he’d even vomited. Barry had hardly touched his dinner the night before, and only partially due to the fact it had been cooked by Magnus and was therefore hardly edible to begin with. He hadn’t had much of an appetite since the twins had ventured off onto the barren planet this cycle had brought them to, in search for any life forms with whom communication could be possible.

Barry slammed his fists down onto the sink counter, squeezing his eyes shut against the throbbing headache cleaving his skull. Guilt clawed its way up his throat, prickling the corners of his tightly closed eyes and threatening to spill down his face.  _ Gods, why hadn’t he gone with them? Why hadn’t  _ anyone _ gone with them? _

  
  


The earth on this planet was dry and hard, deep cracks scarring the landscape and branching out like bolts of lightning. Despite no vegetation as far as the Starblaster’s crew could see and no geographical features to obstruct the flat landscape, the Light of Creation was nowhere to be found. No one onboard had seen the Light land, so there was the possibility that it was not yet even on the planet. Six days trapped inside the ship, orbiting above a flat, dusty world, dedicating every waking second to detecting the Light with no way to know where it could be and no success in locating it had made the crew antsy and irritable, so by day seven Captain Davenport landed the ship. He declared it safe to leave the ship, but the planet offered very little by means of distraction or entertainment. Merle was disappointed by the lack of plants on the desolate world, and Lucretia had nothing to describe in her journals other than red, cracking dirt. Magnus was bored out of his wits, and when Magnus got bored he snapped at his crewmates, making the entire atmosphere on the ship tense. Davenport and Barry poured over Lucretia’s old journals, searching unsuccessfully for some sort of pattern to the locations and timings the Light had been discovered in previous cycles to see if that would provide any aid to them retrieving the Light this year. With no obvious answer, Barry withdrew more and more into his work until he practically barricaded himself in his lab, only emerging every twenty hours or so for food.   

Lup and Taako, who were possibly the most restless, had tolerated their downtrodden companions for as long as they could stand to. During a morose dinner thirteen days after arriving on this planet, Taako declared he was going to leave the next morning to see if he could discover anything nearby that they may have missed while circling overhead. He didn’t sound at all hopeful that this mission would be successful, but Lup instantly jumped at the opportunity to escape the gloom and monotony of the Starblaster and quickly volunteered to accompany him. Captain Davenport okayed the mission with only slight hesitation. In the nearly two weeks they had been on the planet, there had been no indication of any sort of creatures or conditions that would pose a threat to Lup and Taako if they spent a few days out of the ship.

 

This proved to be a huge mistake.

  
  


Later that night, Barry sat hunched over pages of Lucretia’s small, loopy handwriting, rubbing his tired eyes as as he read and reread the same few lines. The more he read, the less sense the words made.

The door creaked open, and Barry turned in his seat to see Lup standing in the doorway, looking disheveled and tired and beautiful as ever. She stepped into the room quietly, grinning at him in a way that seemed to fill the room, and not for the first time, Barry was struck with the absolute weight of his love for this woman.

He smiled back at her as she padded barefoot across the floor, stopping directly in front of him, reaching out her hands in invitation. “Come to bed,” she said quietly. “You’ve been working for hours.”

Barry sighed, tempted but not convinced. He pushed his glasses up to his forehead to rub his eyes, aching from hours of staring at Lucretia’s cramped handwriting, and let his glasses fall back onto his nose haphazardly. “Not yet, okay? I think I might be onto something here.”

Lup sighed dramatically, reaching out to put her hands on his shoulders and lean her head forward against his. “Babe,” she whined, sliding her hands until her fingers interlocked behind his neck. She smiled at him again, gazing down into his eyes like she never wanted to look away, and- Gods, she really was the best thing to ever happen to him.

Unable to resist the look she was giving him, Barry leaned forward gently to press his lips against hers, close-mouthed and over in a second. As he pulled back, her lips chased his eagerly, but he shook his head again.

“I’m sorry, Lup, not tonight,” he muttered, turning his head away from her face to avoid seeing the disappointment in her eyes as he focused his attention back on the journals in front of him. “I’m just- I know Davenport and I haven’t made much progress yet, but I think I’m actually getting really close to-”

Lup snorted, cutting him off. “Look, babe, I’m sorry, but you’ve read this journal three times front to back in the past week. Do you think you’re going to just- just  _ discover _ the secret to finding the light written in the margins? None of us have a clue what we’re doing, Barry.”

“You and Taako-”

“Are just looking for an excuse to get off this damn ship and stretch our legs! Do you think Taako really thinks we’re going to find  _ anything _ when we step out there? Do you think I do?” She grabbed his face in her hands, and turned him back to face her. She looked exhausted- her hair was tossed up haphazardly, her clothes fresh and unwrinkled only because she had changed them three times today out of boredom. She seemed to have lost a bit of her excitement, her fire, after nothing but day after day of no progress, and even though she still looked stunning, it was clear that something about her was off.   

“Can’t we just- please, for one night, let’s forget about the fucking _Light_ , okay? Let’s just… take it easy.” She was smiling gently, leaning in to kiss him again, and Barry felt torn. On the one hand, Lup was here, breathing and smiling and kissing him like he _mattered_ to her, begging him to forget about the mission and just exist with her for a moment. He was tempted- he was so, _so_ tempted to go along with it, to allow himself one night of respite from all the frustration and endless pages of work that had so far amounted to nothing. And yet on the other hand, there was the imminent loom of the Hunger putting a damper on every happy moment. If he failed at this, the mission he set out to accomplish, what did that make him to the team? What did that make him to the entire _planar_ _system_? Barry’s work may be futile, but at least it gave him a purpose. With that in mind, he reluctantly turned his head away from Lup’s, gently pulling her hands off his face and turning his attention back to the journal.

“I’m sorry, Lup. Not tonight, okay?”

Lup blinked, once. She was always a very expressive person, feeling everything times a thousand, but years on the road with Taako had taught her how to disguise those emotions when she needed to. Barry watched the hurt and disappointment cross her features for a second, before they were quickly replaced with a smirk. “Whatever, nerd,” she laughed, standing up. “Guess you’ll just miss out on  _ all _ this.” She gestured towards her body, over-the-top and flamboyant and so full of false indifference it was almost painful to watch.

“I’ll see you in the morning, okay, babe?” Barry called after her as she walked towards the door, sounding pathetic and guilty to his own ears.

Lup turned in the doorway to look at him again. “Doubt it, Bluejeans. Taako and I are leaving way early. Your human ass will hopefully still be sleeping, seeing as you’re the most sleep deprived sucker I’ve ever met.” She shrugged, looking down at her feet and chewing distractedly on her thumbnail. “Whatever, it’s not like we’ll be gone for too long. Wouldn’t want to miss all the  _ insane _ excitement going on here on the ‘Blaster.” She flashed him a grin, sarcastic and gap-toothed, and wiggled her fingers at him in a lazy goodbye. “See you soon, babe,” she tossed over her shoulder as she sauntered out the door, closing it softly behind her before Barry could respond.

  
  


Barry was an ugly crier.

This had been true about him since his earliest memories, clinging to his mother’s leg and wailing as a toddler, and was true about him now, over a century later, watching his reflection’s face go blotchy and red. Sobs began to shake his body, and he felt the bile rise in his throat as he collapsed onto the ground, clutching the toilet bowl with both hands as he retched again.

Barry didn’t know how long he sat there, huddled over the toilet, crying, when suddenly a soft knock on the bathroom door startled him back to reality.

“Barry?” came the whisper from the other end- Magnus’s voice. Barry groaned and sat up, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and reaching towards the door to unlock it.

Instantly, Magnus stepped inside. His broad chest seemed to fill the entire washroom, and he closed the door behind him, clearly making an effort to be quieter than usual. He sat down and leaned against the closed door, looking at the tile floor and not at Barry.

“I’m sorry-” Barry whispered, his voice hoarse and quiet. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’m sorry if I woke you, Magnus.”

Magnus shook his head, still looking at the floor between them. “Couldn’t sleep, anyways. I was thinking about going to the kitchen and baking some cookies. That’s what Taako does, sometimes, and he showed me how to make some a few cycles back. The recipe’s written down somewhere, but...” Magnus trailed off with a shrug, but Barry understood. Magnus often had difficulty reading, letters and numbers jumbling together and having disastrous effects on many of his recipe-following endeavors.  

Barry simply nodded, letting the silence drag on until he couldn’t keep the words from spilling out. “I should have offered to go with them, Magnus. I shouldn’t have- We should have been more careful!”

Magnus reached out, placing a large, calloused hand on Barry’s shoulder and squeezing. “It’s not your fault, Barry. The planet was silent for weeks, alright? Davenport never would have sent them out if he knew that fire was going to fall out of the fucking sky.”

“Then we should have studied the weather more carefully!” Barry yelled, placing his face in his hands and trembling with pent-up emotion. “We should have waited a few more days until we understood the atmosphere!”

“You’re right,” Magnus said, in a quiet, understanding voice that was doing nothing to calm Barry down. “You’re right, Barry, but we didn’t, and now we have to deal with it, okay?” Magnus inhaled like he was going to say more, but faltered a bit, deciding if he should say anything else. “Listen," he began cautiously, "I know you don’t want to hear this, but Lup wouldn’t blame you, and she wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

The Barry he had been when they first left their planet would have exploded with anger at Magnus’s words. He would have shouted, challenging  _ What do you know? _ or  _ Don’t tell me how to feel _ . This Barry, however, was older, although he did not appear it physically. He had fought in wars, watched his loved ones die, seen worlds destroyed. He had  _ died _ . These experiences give a man perspective.

So this Barry did not get angry. He did not yell, or fight, but rather, he slumped forward, all the energy leaving his body in a single breath.

“I know-” he whispered, sniffling. “I know she wouldn’t. Doesn’t.”

Magnus scooted closer to him, pulling Barry into a warm, solid hug. As Barry sobbed into Magnus’s broad shoulder, Magnus reached up to stroke his fingers through Barry’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp.

They sat there together for what felt like an eternity, both crying softly as an indefinite amount of time passed. Eventually, Barry began to doze lightly, and Magnus’s hand in his hair slowed to a stop as Magnus drifted to sleep as well. Suddenly, they were startled out of their daze by a soft tapping at the door.

“Hello? Anyone in there?” Lucretia whispered from the other side.

“Me and Barry,” Magnus mumbled, jostling Barry’s head on his shoulder as he twisted to open the door. “What’s the matter, Lu?”

Lucretia shook her head, tightening her dressing gown more securely around her. “I was just walking towards the kitchen to make some tea and I saw your door was opened and you weren’t in there,” she said to Magnus. “Wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Peachy,” Magnus yawned, scratching his neck and rolling his shoulders so they cracked and popped.

Lucretia looked down at Magnus and Barry, sitting with their arms around each other on the bathroom floor, and smiled gently. “Come on,” she said, holding out a hand to each of them. “The tea is up high, I’ll need someone tall to help me get it down.”

Internally, Barry scoffed. Lucretia was taller than him, and even so it wouldn’t be difficult at all for her to bring the tea down using magic, but he saw her plea for company as what it was and took her hand, allowing her to pull him to his feet.

Together, the three humans trudged to the kitchen, Lucretia still holding their hands.

  
  


Later that morning, Davenport entered the common area to find Barry, Lucretia, and Magnus cuddled together on the couch, empty mugs set on the ground or dangling precariously out of hands. Lucretia’s head was resting on Barry’s shoulder, and Barry’s arm was draped across her chest, fingers tangled together with Magnus’s, who was asleep on the other side of Lucretia. His head lay on top of Lucretia’s, his other arm encircling the group, draping over Barry’s right shoulder.

 Davenport took in the sight with a small smile twitching his mustache upwards, as he went to find a blanket to drape over the sleeping companions, allowing them as many moments of peace and comfort as they were capable of having.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> comments are literally my favorite thing in the world & if you leave one i'll love you forever
> 
> my taz sideblog on tumblr is @loveyajules  
> my main ~aesthetic~ blog is @yellowpaintwater
> 
> title of the fic comes from glory and gore by lorde, because it's my starblaster crew theme song


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